So the main thing I’m struggling with is the feeling that, even though I made a British qualifying total back in November, I don’t have the ‘right’ to compete nationally because I’ve not managed to reproduce that total in my last 2 competitions.

That, and being envious of people (like my training partner!) who’ve qualified easily, first time, when it took me 3 years of training.

Sigh. I think I need some kind of sports psychology, as I know both thoughts are unfounded. I KNOW I should only be competing with myself. I KNOW I have things counting against me, like my age, my medical thingys, and my lack of exercise before the age of 32.

I just wish I was a bit more awesome, you know?

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