Stopped by Bethnal Green on the way home. My coach thought I was there to train, but when I said I wanted to post-mortem the meet he was like “Oh for god’s sake” in his adorably gruff way.
I got the best pep talk *sniffle*. He said all kinds of things about how, while I will never be a great lifter, I’m a very tenacious one; that I really put the work in when others (better lifters) just treat it more casually. I’m the perpetual underdog. It was just what I needed to hear, really. I do struggle with feeling that I don’t have the right to do what I do, when others are clearly so much better than me.
He’s right, though, that I’ve just hung on when – over the last 4 years – lots of lifters have come into our gym, qualified for the British, competed, then fucked off after only a few months of training. I’m still hanging in there, despite my continued lack of success!
He also wants me to ditch the heavy training I do at my secondary gym, and I think he’s right. It’s gonna be tough, though – I pay a lot of money to go there and it seems a shame to waste it. I can still use it for Pilates/yoga, foam rolling & the sauna though. I’m just a bit embarrassed that I told people there I’m a powerlifter, and I won’t be doing any heavy lifting there 😉
Oh, and I’ve contacted a sports psychologist, going to have a session with her on August 2nd. Exciting!