Tonight was the final lifting session before Saturday’s competition. I did a fairly easy 3 x 3 squat @ 72.5kg (80%) and 3 x 3 bench with pauses @ 40kg (80%)
I weighed myself on the gym scales and – horror of horrors – I was 2.4kg over weight. Then I took off my knee sleeves & shoes, and was exactly 1kg over. Stupid shoes.
I’ve been feeling miserable about making weight tonight, and that’s translated into feeling miserable about always coming last when I compete and why do I bother powerlifting at all?
It sounds like the most horrible thing to say ever, but I think I enjoyed lifting more when I was the only lady who regularly attended the gym; now that we have loads of other ladies, I compare myself to them and feel utterly rotten about how mediocre I am. Don’t get me wrong – I love that we have loads of ladies, because I want to see more women lifting. I just don’t know how to handle the jealousy I feel 😦 And I can’t work any harder to catch up with them, because 1) I work hard already; and 2) they’re in their Newbie Gains phases, and I’m very, very much past that.
Maybe I need to haul myself off to the sports psych again.