It’s OK

I have just got home (literally this morning – I’ve had about 3 hours’ sleep) from a really nice holiday in Florida with my boyfriend. Well, I say “holiday” – it was a holiday for me & a working holiday for him, as he had to spend 3 days at a conference. The weather in Florida wasn’t great, but it was warmer than London, and I took the opportunity to go swimming outdoors in the hotel’s heated pool. Swimming outdoors in January is a major novelty for a Londoner.

Bikini

I couldn’t resist taking a cheesy photo of myself in my BIKINI!!! in the hotel room. Bikini you guys! In January! ZOMG!

I’ve been thinking about this photo, and how I could blog around it, ever since I took it (narcissistic, huh?!) I think I look great, even though I’m sure to many it looks like a “before” picture – you know, the “before my diet & exercise gave me a ripped body!” picture. This is my body after almost 5 years of lifting heavy, and it looks… well, to be honest, I don’t think it looks THAT much different to how I looked aged 32, when I began exercising.

Bear with me – it’s not just blindness to how my body has changed that’s talking. I know I have got a little smaller in terms of dress sizes (from a generous 16 to a 14/16) and I’ve lost some body fat (from 42% right at the start to ~32-35% now), but it’s not a huge transformation on the outside. I’m sure people will say I look like I have a strong body now (I definitely have some beefy legs!) but I always looked pretty solid – I think the main differences are that my butt is now large & round instead of large & flat, and I have traps. Somewhere.

I feel a bit sad for teenage & 20-something me who never wore a bikini to swim in because she thought she didn’t have a “bikini body” (hint: every body is a bikini body). I’m just going to have to rock my bikini as much as possible from now on (weather permitting!) to make up for it.

The thing I’m trying to say is, that despite what all those fitspo blogs tell you, you might not end up looking like a fitness goddess when you take up lifting. Or you might. It depends. On a whole bunch of things. But if you don’t, here’s a little secret:

IT’S OK!!

It really is.

I feel like a badass in my bikini and that’s proof enough for me that being active & loving myself is doing its thing – physically and mentally.

(And if you don’t feel badass enough to wear a bikini yourself, I recommend just putting one on & not giving a fuck what everyone else thinks. They’re probably too busy worrying about what they look like to notice you, anyway.)

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6 thoughts on “It’s OK

  1. Alis

    You look GREAT. You’re a superb advocate for ladies such as myself who lift just because it’s fun and want to be strong, rather than look “ripped.”

    1. lozette Post author

      Thank you!! I felt very badass, and quite virtuous going swimming (20 lengths in the morning!) while on holiday 😉

  2. MrsB | Mind over Matter

    Just like you I wouldn’t wear a bikini in my 20s. But now I’m nearing 40 and have been rocking one every summer and at the pool for several years – there is nothing like feeling like a badass, that’s what exercise and lifting heavy weights does to you 🙂

  3. G

    Love this post! (And love you and your bikini! You look wonderful!)

    What you mentioned is a big part of why I detest fitspo: “lift heavy and you will transform into a fitness model” is absolute garbage– how many of us actually see that happen? Lift heavy and you will be stronger, yes. You’ll probably see fantastic new muscles appear and have more definition and maybe a different shape and you may gain the ability to crush walnuts with your thighs. All of which are good reasons to lift. 🙂

  4. mandy @ fatgirlgonehealthy

    You rock in a bikini! I’ve come a long way with my own self image but I’m not quite at the place where I can wear a bikini in public and be okay. I’ll get there but it’s going to take time. You definitely inspire me!

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