I’m still feeling unhappy with my weight while doing not-very-much about it. I’m not quite at that triggery/freaking out point, but it’s closer than it was.
This morning I read an article posted to the BGWLC Olympic weightlifting group about establishing your calorie requirements via BMR, MET etc – Meeting your Nutritional Goals: Energy Requirements. I worked out my kcal needs and… well, they’re way lower than I thought – 2200 on non-training days and 2900 on training days.
I have no idea how much I eat – I don’t track – but I’m in no doubt that I eat way more than this. I used to track my kcals with MyPlate, but I found it hard to do (so much of it seems to be guesswork) & I also found it triggered an unhealthy obsession in me. I like to think I have a happy relationship with food, and I don’t want to change that.
But if I’m going to be <72kg in June… maybe I have to.
As I said: well, fuck.
Tracking food & changing what I eat was hard enough before, when I lived alone; I have no idea how you're meant to do it when you live with someone & share cooking. I feel panicky & tearful just thinking about tracking, you know?
I’m quite cross with myself, as in September I was really happy with my weight & how I was performing; I thought I’d nailed it! Evidently not. I guess I got complacent. I did, after all, tell myself I could eat what I wanted between the BGWLC club competition in December & my birthday in January; however, I never “binged” (I’m not even sure what binging is, TBH).
I hate that I’m having to worry like this, when so much rhetoric around weightlifting/powerlifting/Crossfit is about making gains, eating all the food, putting on weight etc. Sometimes it feels like every other strength person out there is/was a skinny person trying to get bigger, and I’m the only one who has to get smaller!
Do you track your calories? How do you do it – with an app? And if you live with someone, does that make it harder?