I got this nice photo from Richard Chapple of my 110kg deadlift on Saturday. Despite the belly & double chin I think it looks pretty badass (and is probably an accurate reflection of what I really look like, as opposed to those posed selfies where I pick out the most flattering one!)
In the car back from the competition I was musing about performance & weight classes etc with everyone else. It’s no secret that I hate making weight, and that back pre-injury I was feeling very strong while sitting at around 74.5kg (and eating lots more carbs than I did post-injury, when I was trying to cut weight). (Of course, I should bear in mind that possibly one of the reasons I lost weight post-injury was down to muscle wastage, not necessarily diet changes).
Given that I’ve already qualified for this year’s GBPF Classic in the 72kg class (in November; and again on Saturday) it was suggested that maybe I shouldn’t bother making weight for July’s London Clubs championship. Obviously I’m going to have to keep an eye on my back, but maybe I should instead focus on getting as strong as possible while eating whatever I like and not worrying about my weight. Maybe that way I can finally get my coveted 100kg squat – I know I felt as if I was heading that way a few weeks ago!
Not surprisingly, there’s a downside to this plan, and that’s that if I compete in the 84kg class in July I won’t be able to make an attempt at the 72kg Greater London divisional squat record (97.5kg). But I think I want a 100kg squat more than a record (although both would be nice!!) There’s also another downside in that I will look bigger; for all my joshing I do feel a little self-conscious about the size of my belly in that picture. But that’s my demon to battle with.
And if I don’t make a decent total in July at 84kg (where to me, a “decent total” would be 270kg – the British qualifying standard) then I can always cut my weight again for September, so I can compete at the British in the 72kg class. It’s not as if I’m aiming to get to 84kg – by “84kg class” I mean my bodyweight being around 74-75kg.
I feel sort of in two minds about all this. On the one hand, it would be nice to finally be able to embrace the “GAINZZZZZ” mentality that is so prevalent in *lifting among smaller (and not-fat) lifters. And I felt really strong at 74.5kg, when I was guzzling Total Breakfast every day and not paying too much attention to my diet. On the other hand, I won’t end up freakishly strong like some of the other larger ladies in lifting (I’m thinking of people like my BGWLC teammate Anna Macnab, who is in a league of her own!) so I worry people would think going up a weight class was pointless (I’m not competitive in the 72s, so I’ll be even less competitive in the 84s!). Plus, I will have my body image demons to fight with; you know, looking even larger in my singlet than I do already.
So, we’ll see how it turns out. If if all goes horribly wrong I can, after all, go back to the 72s for the British. Or I might love being bigger and embrace the 84 class with gusto 🙂