Content note for weight loss, food tracking etc.
So it’s almost the end of August and one of my goals was to get down to 73kg by the end of the month (FOR COMPETITION WEIGHT CLASSES, not for mythical permanent weight loss). I’m going to do my weigh-in on Saturday because I’ll be at the gym, and those scales will be used for weigh-ins at the British Classic.
I don’t think I will be 73kg. I will definitely be 73.XXkg, but not 73.00. And I will no doubt be gutted (although I still have 3 weeks to make weight!) because fucking hell this week has been tough, food-wise. Also training-wise; but hard training is that much harder when you’re hungry ALL THE DAMN TIME.
I have a love/hate relationship with talking about making weight. On the one hand, I find ranting about it to be cathartic – who doesn’t love a good whinge? On the other hand, it brings out well-meaning people offering advice (which I don’t always take well because I’m a snippy sort of person) & it throws up all sorts of FEELS I have about body positivity & fat acceptance.
There’s also a third thing it throws up, which is that while I totally understand the movement to get women to stop dieting, eat more food and get strong, that movement has its own prejudices & parameters (i.e. it’s developed a whole new set of unattainable body ideals). So when someone uses my struggles with dieting as some sort of “example” about why women should just stop dieting and “embrace strong”, I’m afraid I want to punch them in the face. “Strong is the new skinny” isn’t relevant to me, I don’t belong to that movement (because I’m fat and “strong is the new skinny” definitely doesn’t accept fat!) so don’t try to involve me in it, thanks.
(On a tangent, on a powerlifting group recently I described myself as fat and another woman said “Not fat, you’re a thick chick!”. Argh, do not put words into my mouth, thank you! Fat is a descriptor, and one I choose to use for myself.)
It goes without saying that I feel similarly about “It’s not about weight, it’s about health!”. Because you can totally tell how healthy someone is by looking at them, mm-hmm. Plus healthy fat people would still be shunned be people spouting that abominable phrase, so STFU.
ANYWAY… Wednesday was a pretty poo day altogether. I’ve been trying to limit the amount of carbs I eat on non-training days, and on Wednesday evening after my dinner of 2 lamb loin steaks and a massive pile of vegetables I watched Great British Bake-Off pretty much ready to gnaw my own arm off. It didn’t help that during the day I’d sat in an afternoon of Puppet & Vagrant training surrounded by doughnuts, Haribo and chocolate that I couldn’t eat. I’m not sure how much I really learned about Puppet & Vagrant*, because all I could think about was doughnutsdoughnutsdoughnuts.
(Incidentally, avoiding those treats made me feel like one of those people who avoids work treats because of oh noes gluten and oh noes sugar; and hell to the no do I ever want to be one of those people. I need a sign to wear around my neck saying “I love gluten but I’m trying to make weight”)
On training days I’ve been eating more carbs, but avoiding pasta/bread/potatoes etc. As a result I ate the same chicken, broccoli & brown rice salad from my work canteen for lunch three times this week; luckily it’s delicious and I didn’t mind. Yes I eat from the work canteen – apparently this is another no-no from the food prep crowd; but seriously I can’t see how they’d sneak “bad stuff” into these salads. Our work caterer is one of those health-conscious ones, I guess because the company reckons we’ll be more productive if we’re not dead.
I feel like I need to end this post with a bit more positivity, which is that THIS TOO SHALL PASS and eventually September 20th will come and making weight will end. Hopefully I won’t wind up as weak as a fucking kitten (I love kittens) and am able to lift well at the British. If I only get the same as my previous, 84kg-weight-class, total I will be a happy lady.
Also, I won’t deny it but even though I’ve only lost 1kg so far I think I’m looking more hench (as opposed to smaller). Arms in particular. Funny how such a small scale difference can make a larger visual one. I still want to go up to the 84kg class, though, for my own mental health!!!
At lunchtime I went to Pilates as usual and was the only person there, so I got a 1-to-1 Pilates session for nowt! Love it!
Bench & squats at BGWLC
We’re approaching peak in my training now and I won’t lie, it’s becoming awful. Squatting heavy twice a week is not fun at the best of times, let alone when you’re HUNGRY.
- Bench press lockouts: worked up to 4 sets of 2 @ 60kg; one set of 2 @ 62.5kg
- Squats: worked up to 5 sets of 3 @ 80kg
- Seated good mornings: 50kg, 3 sets of 10
- Glute & ham raises
This was a 100% cardio session. I came veeeeery close to puking, I won’t lie.
* Note that Puppet & Vagrant is not a 1970s Eastern European children’s TV show, although it probably should be.