I’ve been back from Las Vegas for 3 days and have not yet made it to the gym. I had planned to go back tomorrow, but the jetlag (8 hours difference between London & LV) has completely kicked my butt. Happily, I managed to sleep past 4am today, so I think I’ll go lifting tonight. I’ll probably have to take it easy, though, as 8 days in Las Vegas was not kind to my body (or my skin for that matter!)
I have 6 weeks to prep for my next competition, which means getting my strength back and also (argh) sorting out my weight. I haven’t dared step on a scale since I got back, but I know my strength has pretty much g-o-n-e and my knees are super-sore (the left one especially).
Having to think about (and manipulate) my weight means I have to slip out of the “body positivity” mantle for a while. I read a really good discussion on Twitter the other day on what body positivity *is*, and for me a fundamental aspect of it is accepting & loving your body as it is and not trying to manipulate it to make it smaller to fit societal norms.
I have to make myself lighter to fit weight classes (because I’m not a good enough lifter to qualify for the British standard at 84kg – and I want to be a British standard lifter) but I absolutely will not deny that I feel happier seeing that lower number on the scale. And that makes me sad because it means I’m not over that societal pressure to be thin(ner). But then who is, completely?
Obviously this does not mean that making yourself lighter or thinner is “bad” – as with everything in life, you have to do what makes you happy; but I don’t think you can disguise any form of reducing your weight/size under the banner of “body positivity”. It’s like the good fatty/bad fatty dichotomy – if you only think people can be larger if they also fit some narrow definition of “healthy” then that’s not body positivity either.
Anyway, you should go read the thread – it’s good, and it features some of my favourite people! I am always learning.
Of course, just because I’m having to manipulate my body to make it smaller doesn’t mean I don’t support body positivity full stop – I just can’t call what I do “body positive”, you know? It’s not my place to appropriate it.