Yet another disclaimer that I’ve been meaning to write here for ages, but time and mood have combined to stop me. The embarassing thing is, on Good Friday I went to a (primarily) weightlifters’ session at Bethnal Green WLC (I usually go to the powerlifters’ sessions) where two people said to me “Are you the Laura who writes that blog?!” and I inwardly cringed at how seldom I update here (and how pedestrian the content is)

As I mentioned, my mood is conspiring against me at the moment. After my pretty terrible December I had been feeling OK-ish (with a few days a month where I felt terrible, which I could loosely tie to PMS), but things have slid away again. After weeks of umm-ing and aah-ing about it, I finally decided to do something about it after Easter, and the wheels are (slowly) in motion while I try to sort myself out.

You know, all in the same of being honest, which I appreciate in other bloggers. Life isn’t always idyllic snaps of Yoga handstands on the beach, or gluten-free chocolate balls perfectly photographed on a rustic kitchen workbench. Not that my blog was ever any of those things….

I’m keeping it together enough to still be going to the gym, though. I want to do well at my competition on May 16th, but I’m also a bit wary of not putting too much pressure on myself, and driving myself crazy making weight/hating myself forever if I don’t get the numbers I want. I try to keep reminding myself that I’ve already qualified for the 2015 British Classic, so I don’t need to get any particular result this time. But oh how I want a 280kg total……..

In my training, bench is going appallingly. I feel even feebler on the bench than I did before I went on holiday. The last two weeks I’ve done bench press off pins (a.k.a. dead bench press) and only managed a measly 52.5kg single at most (50kg x 3 eluded me last night). I’ve managed 60kg before, and 52.5kg is my best bench press off my chest, so not being able to dead press more is depressing me.

Tore my hand up real good, too

However, on Monday night I did reduced-ROM deadlifts (lifting the bar from two plates) and managed a 125kg single, which is 5kg more than my best off the floor. This is huge for me. I even managed to hang onto the bar for a second or two at the top, despite my arms feeling like they would pull out of their sockets. I’ve had so many problems with my grip in the past, so this is great.

Squat-wise, I’ve ditched the Adidas Powerlift2.0 shoes. I was just not hitting depth in them! So it’s back to my Gola flat shoes, and the Adidas will be for bench only. I know people rave about squatting in heeled shoes, but it simply does not work for me. I have no idea why – I don’t read up on femur lengths and knee travel and all that technical lifting stuff. I’m just going back to doing what helped me squat 100kg.

I continue to feel jealous of other people in the gym, and I was heartened after my my last post to know I’m not the only one who feels this way. Is this one of those things that people daren’t mention? I know jealousy gets a bad rap, but we’re only human. I just have to keep on keepin’ on with reminding myself how far I’ve come, oh and I’m not exactly a spring chicken etc etc.

One thing that was nice was my coach saying he doesn’t see why I can’t eventually hit a 300kg total. I have to admit, I don’t think the chances are high – I’m 40 in 21 months (argh!) and I tend to think my lifting will only go backwards from then onwards (since 40 = Masters in GBPF parlance, and all the qualifying totals are reduced). But that’s not a given, really – loads of lifters keep making gains after 40. It might yet happen to me.

(I need to get that 280kg total first, though!)

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